So, it's christmas, its coming in the next day here, and it is this amazing holiday, so happy and full of joy and cheer. I am home from school for the christmas break and get to see everyone again which is really good, and it is a really nice break. Yet, I come home and I get all this time on my hands, which is good cause as I said in my first blog, it is good to work through all the information crammed into your head in three months at bible school. Yet, still, a lot of time to do.... well... really whatever you want. So I decided to rediscover my love for reading. (as much as you read at bible school, reading a "textbook" is different than leisure reading) So I started reading this book called The Shack, i really recommend it, very interesting thoughts in here. It certainly has challenged a lot of my theology, and beliefs about God, and who God. Not to say that this book is to be mistaken for the bible, but I believe a lot of what is in it does line up with the bible, and makes sense in my head. Anyway, this book was amazing for me, and really for me was a breath of fresh air, and has really helped me answer some questions that I have been fighting through, some pretaining to God's love for me, and just who God is. Not to say that this book got rid of my problems, or helped me to get rid of my problems, but it helped me to see things in a different light, and take things from a different vantage point, which has started to change who I am at the core (I pray).
Yet, there is still a lot of confusion with me right now, pertaining to a lot of things. There is a lot of questioning, and a lot of waiting.... which I am not necessarily fond of. There is still a jumble in my head, and a lot I am wanting God to do in my life, and I have a lot of expectations of myself. I would pray that you would pray for me, as I am trying to work through some things, and through some of this confusion that is going through my head. Right now, I am not the person I want to be... and I think that I still need to grow greatly in many areas of my life. Which really is the joy of life, is growing in it. But I pray that God could show us all where we need to grow, and that we would be open to him working to help us grow in that area. I have come to realize things do not change over night with God. He loves to see the progression, and the little steps turning into bigger steps... it is making the choice each day, and taking time to grow. There is so much from this book The Shack that I could blog about... I think I could go on for days about new discoveries, that God revealed to me through this man's writing, and his friends experience, whether real or not... (you will understand if you read the book) but I think it would all be better if you just read the book, and see God's revelations for yourself.
Christmas is a great time to rest, and put aside the worries that we carry with us, and refocus on God, and the great story of Jesus birth, that changes the world forever. I pray that God could show you something new and exciting in the Christmas story, and that God would be with you this Christmas. Merry Christmas and safe travelling.
Nick Poetker
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
New Ideas!
Well, it's been about three months here at Bethany, and so taking classes and stuff you get a bunch of information shoved into your head. With all this information you start to realize how little you actually know about the bible, and everything that is in it. (at least for me) I came out probably learning 100% more than I knew before. Yet also with this information coming in it is hard to sort through it all and make sense of it all. There is just so much coming at you there is no time to reflect on it and actually understand it, or look at it from your own personalized perspective. There is no time to make it your own, or so it seems. This kind of annoys me, because I think that the point of the bible is the relationship with Jesus, and spending time in his word in order to build your relationship with God. Yet, we get all this information crammed into your head and you get to write a final exam on it, so you get good at memorizing facts, and different words, is there actually time to make it my own? Is there time to choose what I believe out of all of it, is there room to make sense and sort it all out in my head.
I have no problem with the information, but facts are only facts. They are only pieces of information, they are only historical events, or different people's perspectives on different things. Is not the point of Christianity the relationship? Is not the point to make it my own so that I can grow in my relationship with God? That is my goal this holiday season... not to study even more so I can turn myself in even more circles and get more knots for me to work through. But to review and just take it at a slowed perspective so I can start to make it my own, and start to fully understand what I just spent three full months studying. Don't get my wrong I know the facts, but do I believe them? Do I fully understand the significance of the big picture that they represent? Not yet, not fully.... that is the goal the purpose for me, to start to sort through the knots, some of the questions that I have and start to fully realize what the big picture is, what it all means in the context of my life, and how to see it through the lens of me, Nick Poetker. I pray that this process is lead by God, and that I can make sense of some things that are confusing me, and solidify things that are wish-washy.
Nick Poetker
I have no problem with the information, but facts are only facts. They are only pieces of information, they are only historical events, or different people's perspectives on different things. Is not the point of Christianity the relationship? Is not the point to make it my own so that I can grow in my relationship with God? That is my goal this holiday season... not to study even more so I can turn myself in even more circles and get more knots for me to work through. But to review and just take it at a slowed perspective so I can start to make it my own, and start to fully understand what I just spent three full months studying. Don't get my wrong I know the facts, but do I believe them? Do I fully understand the significance of the big picture that they represent? Not yet, not fully.... that is the goal the purpose for me, to start to sort through the knots, some of the questions that I have and start to fully realize what the big picture is, what it all means in the context of my life, and how to see it through the lens of me, Nick Poetker. I pray that this process is lead by God, and that I can make sense of some things that are confusing me, and solidify things that are wish-washy.
Nick Poetker
The Pursuit of... Happyness?
Have you ever pursued something for a long period of time? Ever gone after something/ or pursued a relationship and waited it out for a long period of time, and had the feeling grow stronger and stronger inside. You start to want it more and more as you realize you cannot have it. Then, you finally get what you were chasing and it does not seem so good anymore? I know I have done this many times...
We think this think will make us happy, we think that if we could just obtain this thing, or this person's affection, or even just the friendship, that everything will just resolve itself and everything will just be okay, and then we can be truly happy. I remember a quote from the movie the Pursuit of Happyness,
"It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?" - Chris Gardner or Will Smith
Can we ever have happiness? In this world is there such thing as true happiness? WE focus so much on the pursuit of this thing, or this person that eventually we get so caught up in this chase for the happiness that this is going to bring us, and then we actually get the prized possession and it feels dull, and insufficient. The game and the hunt of trying to get what we are wanting, and what is going to bring our happiness is over, and now we have it and it seems like something is missing. We have focused so much on the pursuit of this object, this person, that we have lost focus of why this is going to bring us happiness, why it is so important. We just become consumed by our lust for this object, for this relationship this person, we get caught up in the emotions of not being able to have it.
We start to let the emotions and the disappointment of not being able to have what we want that it sets in and then we get what we want, God blesses us with something that we have wanted and we are thankful for a short period of time because the excitement of the pursuit is gone. Is there true happiness in things, in relationships and in people? Can we be happy once we have accomplished the mission of the pursuit?
Yes, I believe that there is happiness to be had from God's blessings. In the gifts God gives us, the things that we want that God tells us "alright you can have it." There should be happiness in that, but it cannot become an obsession.
The pursuit is too easy to make an obsession, and therefore almost an addiction. We get the little glimpses of the things we want in life, and it makes us want even more and more, these 'highs' keep us wanting these things, and therefore once we actually get it it does not seem so good anymore. We are not getting these 'highs' anymore, it has become the normal, it is okay for a bit, until it becomes normal, then it is not 'fun' anymore.
-I realize two things in writing this specific blog:
-my thoughts are scattered
- and I am not exactly sure what I am trying to say, (still working through this one)
What do you think? Out in Left Field or making sense? Anything to add?
We think this think will make us happy, we think that if we could just obtain this thing, or this person's affection, or even just the friendship, that everything will just resolve itself and everything will just be okay, and then we can be truly happy. I remember a quote from the movie the Pursuit of Happyness,
"It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?" - Chris Gardner or Will Smith
Can we ever have happiness? In this world is there such thing as true happiness? WE focus so much on the pursuit of this thing, or this person that eventually we get so caught up in this chase for the happiness that this is going to bring us, and then we actually get the prized possession and it feels dull, and insufficient. The game and the hunt of trying to get what we are wanting, and what is going to bring our happiness is over, and now we have it and it seems like something is missing. We have focused so much on the pursuit of this object, this person, that we have lost focus of why this is going to bring us happiness, why it is so important. We just become consumed by our lust for this object, for this relationship this person, we get caught up in the emotions of not being able to have it.
We start to let the emotions and the disappointment of not being able to have what we want that it sets in and then we get what we want, God blesses us with something that we have wanted and we are thankful for a short period of time because the excitement of the pursuit is gone. Is there true happiness in things, in relationships and in people? Can we be happy once we have accomplished the mission of the pursuit?
Yes, I believe that there is happiness to be had from God's blessings. In the gifts God gives us, the things that we want that God tells us "alright you can have it." There should be happiness in that, but it cannot become an obsession.
The pursuit is too easy to make an obsession, and therefore almost an addiction. We get the little glimpses of the things we want in life, and it makes us want even more and more, these 'highs' keep us wanting these things, and therefore once we actually get it it does not seem so good anymore. We are not getting these 'highs' anymore, it has become the normal, it is okay for a bit, until it becomes normal, then it is not 'fun' anymore.
-I realize two things in writing this specific blog:
-my thoughts are scattered
- and I am not exactly sure what I am trying to say, (still working through this one)
What do you think? Out in Left Field or making sense? Anything to add?
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Worship
I am in a Intro to Bible class, also known as a Bible Survey class, and this class is good, with discussion and we go through the books of the bible, spending at least a little bit of time on each one. Today's class was different though. We got onto the topic of Worship, and what that looks like and if how we here at school are 'doing' worship is right. We started talking about the Psalms, and how they are songs written over 1000 years, and how we still read those songs today, and also how they show us about the culture of the time. Then, the question was posed. If people looking back found "Bethany Song Book" or maybe just your song list, with just lyrics, what would they see about our culture. The first point in the two separate classes of the day was a selfish look on worship, how most of worship focuses on what the individual gets out of worship, and even just a selfish outlook on the whole idea of worship.
The next point brought up was that there is a longing for 'more of God'. Whatever that means. What does a longing for more of God mean? Does it mean being able to expect more from God, does it mean being able to hear him clearer, does it mean feeling him present in everyday situations, or do we wish that church today was like that of acts, with healings and many other miracles, and that the whole way we do church would be more God centred than self-centred? Or does it have to do with all of these things?
Then we started to talk about how worship is more than just singing, and how many people worship through different ways, and that what we are seeing in today's church I think everywhere, not just here in the bethany community, is a people going against expressing themselves in worship, and worshipping the way God created you to worship. We see singing as worship and so all we do is sing, we do not leave the opportunity open for people to worship expressively, or have other outlets other than singing. Another question arose. Does the music and the intstruments have a false effect of God, do they give us a false sense of God, and his presence? I would say yes and no, I believe God created instruments and that this means that you can see and feel God through these instruments, but I think you can create something that is not there as well, in hopes that you will just have a feeling. Which brings up a point I have heard my pastor talk about, is our faith merely a feeling? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. So then why do we yearn for that feeling? Cause it feels good? Anyway a whole new can of worms there. Are instruments bad or good? One student brought up that music is made by God, and that it does not have to be 'christian music' in order for it to be worship. I found this interesting and I agree, the music itself can be worship if we can see God, and praise him for it. Even if it is a secular song. I think a lot of the times a perfectly good song is ruined by the lyrics, and it breaks my heart, because of how much i love that song. Yet, I have hope that just the music for me can be a praise to God. Not saying that you can listen to whatever music and it can be praise, because the lyrics are still there, and we have to guard our hearts, but I think that we can see God through the music that is played, as much as the lyrics that we hear, and sing.
Another whole topic, do we mean the words we sing? Anyway, I could probably go on all night, but I challenge whoever chooses to read this blog, that this would be a challenge to you. How do you worship? Do you feel that you are supported to use this form of worship on every sunday or whenever a "singing worship" time is there? Do you think this is right.
One final note, was pointed out, there is a great thing when a community comes together and worships in unity, and I think that this is good too. The main thing is right now I believe that every time of worship is a community worship, and there is not a lot of room for individual worship in that setting right now. Almost every single action you perform can be worship to God, if you mean it to be. Yet, I think that we have the idea of worship in our minds, and in the church very twisted, and it's kind of scary for me.
Think about it, and God Blesss
Nick Poetker
The next point brought up was that there is a longing for 'more of God'. Whatever that means. What does a longing for more of God mean? Does it mean being able to expect more from God, does it mean being able to hear him clearer, does it mean feeling him present in everyday situations, or do we wish that church today was like that of acts, with healings and many other miracles, and that the whole way we do church would be more God centred than self-centred? Or does it have to do with all of these things?
Then we started to talk about how worship is more than just singing, and how many people worship through different ways, and that what we are seeing in today's church I think everywhere, not just here in the bethany community, is a people going against expressing themselves in worship, and worshipping the way God created you to worship. We see singing as worship and so all we do is sing, we do not leave the opportunity open for people to worship expressively, or have other outlets other than singing. Another question arose. Does the music and the intstruments have a false effect of God, do they give us a false sense of God, and his presence? I would say yes and no, I believe God created instruments and that this means that you can see and feel God through these instruments, but I think you can create something that is not there as well, in hopes that you will just have a feeling. Which brings up a point I have heard my pastor talk about, is our faith merely a feeling? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. So then why do we yearn for that feeling? Cause it feels good? Anyway a whole new can of worms there. Are instruments bad or good? One student brought up that music is made by God, and that it does not have to be 'christian music' in order for it to be worship. I found this interesting and I agree, the music itself can be worship if we can see God, and praise him for it. Even if it is a secular song. I think a lot of the times a perfectly good song is ruined by the lyrics, and it breaks my heart, because of how much i love that song. Yet, I have hope that just the music for me can be a praise to God. Not saying that you can listen to whatever music and it can be praise, because the lyrics are still there, and we have to guard our hearts, but I think that we can see God through the music that is played, as much as the lyrics that we hear, and sing.
Another whole topic, do we mean the words we sing? Anyway, I could probably go on all night, but I challenge whoever chooses to read this blog, that this would be a challenge to you. How do you worship? Do you feel that you are supported to use this form of worship on every sunday or whenever a "singing worship" time is there? Do you think this is right.
One final note, was pointed out, there is a great thing when a community comes together and worships in unity, and I think that this is good too. The main thing is right now I believe that every time of worship is a community worship, and there is not a lot of room for individual worship in that setting right now. Almost every single action you perform can be worship to God, if you mean it to be. Yet, I think that we have the idea of worship in our minds, and in the church very twisted, and it's kind of scary for me.
Think about it, and God Blesss
Nick Poetker
Friday, October 17, 2008
Jesus be the Centre
Jesus be the centre, be my source be my light Jesus,
Jesus be the centre, be my hope, be my song, Jesus,
Be the Fire in my heart, be the wind in these sails, be the reason that I live Jesus, Jesus
Jesus be my vision, be my path be my guide, Jesus
Be the Fire in my heart be the wind in these sails, be the reason that I live Jesus, Jesus
I find it amazing how I can pray to God, and pray earnestly and pray for answers. I can worship him, and still mean the words that I am singing, and recognize that what I am singing or doing is truth. Yet, still not have those words be true. I can pretty much do everything right, and still not have God at the centre of everything I am doing. I prayed long and hard for answers the other night, just something I am dealing with, being at bible school, a good place to find answers right? So I was looking for answers to some personal things that I was dealing with.... I was singing in chapel and meant everythign I was singing, and knew it, I knew that God was awesome and that he was holy, and I meant it when I sang it. Yet, through both of these scenerios I realized God still was not at the centre. I was not putting him number one, that one little issue was taking the centre, it was being at the source of what I was doing. Not out of love for God, not because I just wanted to show God what I thought of him, but because I wanted answers... I was trying to suck up to God, and hoping it would help me to get rid of this thing I was/am dealing with. I realized that I was digging myself a hole, and I was not about to get myself out of it. Today I realized singing that song (above) that I was not living that out, and in turn stuff was building up, I was becoming confused and I was becoming overwhelmed spiritually. I realize now that I need to put God at the centre, not to get answers, but because as soon as I do, everything else will just fall into place. As soon as I put God ahead of that issue, then I do not have to worry about it anymore, and can focus on God, and I can be reassured that he will take care of that issue. Right now, I have no idea what putting God at the centre means, fully. Yet, I have a sense that acknowledging him as the centre is a good place to start and can only lead me down the right path. Recognizing him in everything I am doing, and doing his will and not mine. I hope I will start on the path of discovering what putting God at the centre means, and that you will join me in doing so. That God can start to take control of every aspect of life, through that decision to make him the centre. For the first time in my life, I am alright with that aspect of giving everything, that I am and everything that I can become and want for my life, over to God. I cannot begin to tell you how freeing that is.
I hope you can do and feel the same.
Jesus be the centre, be my hope, be my song, Jesus,
Be the Fire in my heart, be the wind in these sails, be the reason that I live Jesus, Jesus
Jesus be my vision, be my path be my guide, Jesus
Be the Fire in my heart be the wind in these sails, be the reason that I live Jesus, Jesus
I find it amazing how I can pray to God, and pray earnestly and pray for answers. I can worship him, and still mean the words that I am singing, and recognize that what I am singing or doing is truth. Yet, still not have those words be true. I can pretty much do everything right, and still not have God at the centre of everything I am doing. I prayed long and hard for answers the other night, just something I am dealing with, being at bible school, a good place to find answers right? So I was looking for answers to some personal things that I was dealing with.... I was singing in chapel and meant everythign I was singing, and knew it, I knew that God was awesome and that he was holy, and I meant it when I sang it. Yet, through both of these scenerios I realized God still was not at the centre. I was not putting him number one, that one little issue was taking the centre, it was being at the source of what I was doing. Not out of love for God, not because I just wanted to show God what I thought of him, but because I wanted answers... I was trying to suck up to God, and hoping it would help me to get rid of this thing I was/am dealing with. I realized that I was digging myself a hole, and I was not about to get myself out of it. Today I realized singing that song (above) that I was not living that out, and in turn stuff was building up, I was becoming confused and I was becoming overwhelmed spiritually. I realize now that I need to put God at the centre, not to get answers, but because as soon as I do, everything else will just fall into place. As soon as I put God ahead of that issue, then I do not have to worry about it anymore, and can focus on God, and I can be reassured that he will take care of that issue. Right now, I have no idea what putting God at the centre means, fully. Yet, I have a sense that acknowledging him as the centre is a good place to start and can only lead me down the right path. Recognizing him in everything I am doing, and doing his will and not mine. I hope I will start on the path of discovering what putting God at the centre means, and that you will join me in doing so. That God can start to take control of every aspect of life, through that decision to make him the centre. For the first time in my life, I am alright with that aspect of giving everything, that I am and everything that I can become and want for my life, over to God. I cannot begin to tell you how freeing that is.
I hope you can do and feel the same.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Where is the Love?
Alright, so I realize there is kind of a theme going right now. And I am going to continue on that theme in this post. Love. We try and understand God's love for us, using examples of his love throughout the bible. This is all good, but we are so caught up in looking for God's love for us we lose sight of one key thing. We lose sight of our love for God. I know that I was in that spot for a while. I was looking and searching everywhere for God's love, what it meant, what it looked like. I just needed something from God that would give me some sort of clue as to what his love looked like. I felt disconnected because God was not showing this to me, or I just was not getting the message. Then, I came to a realization. I had been looking so hard for the love of God, that I had forgotten to show God how much I loved him. I forgot the little things that mattered. I forgot what it truly meant to love God. Not to say that God will not show you love if you do not love him. But I think a lot of times, we are so caught up in what God is, or should be doing for us, that we forget to do stuff purposefully for him. We might do stuff for him, in a roundabout sort of a way. But deciding in your heart and mind that something is for God, and being consciously aware of doing something for him, is a totally different attitude then kind of doing something because we are "supposed to" or because "it's right". I think making that conscious choice to do something for God, is in fact part of the actual act itself. When you make that choice, it is saying that God, I love you, and that is why I am doing this. I am putting everything I am into this because I want to express my love for you. Rather than going into it saying, "Alright, I am going to do this because God likes me to do it, and I am a christian so I guess I should just do it." or even worse not even thinking about doing something and just doing it because....it's what you do. I think we need to start showing God exactly how much we love him, and in turn he will love you. I came to this realization and immediately God showed me his love. I put it into practice and even if I did not feel God's love, it felt so good, and it was just such a relief and such a inner peace, I cannot explain it. I challenge anyone reading this to next time you even worship, do it with a specific meaning to show God how much you love him through the words you sing, or the music you play. A relationship is a two-way street, we have to stop just looking for God to just constantly provide, and start showing our love for him.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Dating in today's world.
So I am here at school, and i am taking this course called Marriage and Family. Yes, that's right, a whole course on marriage and family, and what it means, what it involves, and all that jazz. So we start to talk about dating, and stuff. Now, today's society your either with someone or your looking to be with someone... that's just the way we are told it is. So, I am sitting in this class, and we start to talk about being single, and comfortable with it!!! I know, sounds ridiculous, but we are seeing relationships in a totally wrong way. At least from the way I see it. We are seeing relationships as a place to have fun, to release and just be with someone from the opposite gender, and if it happens to be with the person that we are going to marry, then sweet deal. Yet if it is not no big deal. Yet is the point of dating not to find the person you are going to be with? I have heard the argument that well in dating you find out what it is that you want in a future spouse, but should you not at least have an idea about that before you start to date someone. I mean you chose them for a reason, beyond their looks hopefully, so you already have some sort of a clue of what you are looking for. Now not saying that you should only date one person and if your wrong and it does not work too bad. But I think we get too loose of an attitude when it comes to this and so we date.... just well.... cause why not? It's fun right? Yet, there should be that aspect of wanting to find someone that you want to be with, otherwise what really is the point to it all. I mean if your just wanting to have fun why not just be friends right? Then a concept is brought up in class that it takes more self-control to stay single then to actually be in a relationship. Therefore does that mean that I have a lack of self-control because I want to be in a relationship? haha, yes this means that I was looking... I struggled for a little while in really feeling that I needed someone else to date... just to emotionally express myself, in a different level. Yet, I look at it now, and it's a little foolish, and selfish of me. I realize now that there is more to it than that... and while yes it is nice to feel wanted and loved (we all have this want). It is not essential. I realized I would rather wait for God to present something to me and for me to be surprised because of it, and run with the punches. Then for me to force something, and end up hurting one or both of the people involved. This subject is coming up quite a bit in this course... about being married or staying single. We all look for answers when it comes to dating and finding that "special someone"... yet I would say, why not wait for God to show you someone, as hard and a struggle as it might be... would it not make it all worth the wait and struggle? For God to give you that amazing special someone of the opposite gender, to come and just be a relief? I realize it is way worth it... and what I yearned for all along was God to give me this someone, and so i tried to force it (not by getting in a relationship) but by looking for possiblities. I realize now that I should just let it happen, and I know it will be all worth it in the end!
Nick Poetker
Nick Poetker
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Starting Out
Well, here it is. It's up and running for those that want to read it. I do not know how often I plan on posting stuff on here, but I guess it is a wait and see type thing. I started this blog because I randomly get thoughts and ideas from God on different things he is saying to me. Now some of these are really long, but I will condense them and give the main idea. They are meant to be sermons. Which i guess brings me to my first fact about me. I am currently at bible school studying, well, the bible. My end goal is to become a youth pastor, and it has been for the last couple years. I feel that is where god is calling me. I have no idea what I am going to do to get there, or what God is going to do in the time from here to then. But i guess we will embark on that journey together.
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