The Battle for Your Heart.

I recently read a book by one of my favorite authors. Yes, that is right for all of you who do not particularly like reading, I read a book. It was called Immanuel's Veins by Ted Dekker. Now I like Ted Dekker for many reasons but one of those many is the fact that he implements biblical principles and salvation in almost all of his books. There is a direct tie to the story of the Bible. Some books this is easier or harder to find, but it is almost always there. Anyway in the particular book I was caught up in how explicit this salvation message is, and I was mesmerized by the storyline itself. This particular one tended to seem odder than the others, because there seemed to be a link to vampires. I was a little disappointed Ted would jump on the Vampire bandwagon but i continued reading because the fact is, it was still enticing enough to let me continue.

I came to a point in this book where the main character comes to a realization. The battle between good and evil is so crucial because while they are in opposition to each other they are both in contest for the same thing. The hearts of people. Satan tries to win the hearts of people here on earth just as much as God does. While this may seem like a pretty basic realization, it gets more interesting. There are two different ways that each party goes about trying to win the hearts of those around them. The devil uses seduction and temptation to pull people in and believe that it is love. God uses something that seems really lame at first glance, but can really only be described with two words: true love. He uses true love and a genuine kind of love in order to woo us. These can easily look the same in the beginning stages, it may seem like something is enticing and true love when really it is just seduction but there are little markers that point us to seduction and others that point us to true love. If you are expecting me to lay out those markers, I am sorry to disappoint you, because I believe that they change. There are some that are pretty obvious, but I do not want to venture there here.
Yet, there is another part to this challenge. In this realization that there are two sides trying to woo our hearts, there comes a point where we have to choose. There are many little choices that lead to this choice and those choices are crucial. The choice remains in our hearts about what we really desire. At the core we desire, long, yearn for true love. (if it helps just imagine the priest from Princess' Bride). All humanity is aching for a chance to be loved genuinely. To be wanted in a way that no person is able to give. To be cherished for everything that they are and to be chosen by someone who loves them in this way. This is something that many would think is the job of a man to give to a woman. To make that choice about who they love, and that woman are mainly longing for that man to come and choose them. Yet, I think that men have that same longing. We long for this, and we also long for the ability to choose someone who we love unconditionally. We long for some kind of love that is pure and that knows no bounds. (Here is where I add my disclaimer, for many this may seem like marriage that i am talking about, but you would be wrong. I believe that marriage can give us some of this but it only hints at something greater). We long to be chosen by one who yearns for us so deeply that they would do anything for us. We have that person in God. A man named Jesus Christ did 'anything' for us by putting himself through the worst pain on the cross. He loves us deeply. This may seem like an old message to most people reading this.

So the question I have for us is, are we loving him back? He has chosen to love us unconditionally, to give us a love that we are craving!!! He wants to love us so deeply that we can not even grasp it, and yet we prostitute ourselves to the things of this world and give lip service to the fact that we love God. I do not want this to come across as a mopping that we do not love God. yet we say that we love God and we do things to express that love, and yet when did love become about simply doing things for the one you love? Last time I checked, it took a lot more than constantly doing things for the one you love. We need to come to a point as Christians where we continue to do things to express our love for Christ, but also need to continually realize this love, and keep choosing the love we have for Christ instead of the seduction that the devil is offering at every turn. It is a realization and a thing about the heart, and about the head. Whoever said love is blind was lying, because love sees and recognizes and chooses to love even more because of that realization. I want to develop a passionate love for god that is more than just action and lip service. I hope you want that too and are willing to join me in this.

Yours Truly,
Nick Poetker

I'm still here!

One year,

That is about how long it has been since I have posted anything. Is it because I have nothing to say? No. That is not it at all, it is just a lack of sharing on my part. The real challenge is I do not know if anyone is still even checking or will come back to read any of these. It is something that I have not committed to and you better believe I am coming back with a vengeance because I have things to say.

I could care less if anyone reads them, all it takes is for one person to read them, and find some truth in them that they can cling to and it would all be worth it. "It's worth it all if theirs just one that sees you, feels you". These are the lyrics about a disciple song called Worth It All. And they are powerful words. Something that is hard to believe sometimes. In a society so caught up in the numbers game, can we ever believe that one person is worth it all? What about everybody else out there that does not know the name of God. What about every other person out there that is hurting in some way, and we know the answer to their problems but they just won't listen? What about all the people out there that have bitterness and anger towards a God they barely even believe in, but find a way to put the blame on him anyway? Is it really worth it all for just one person when the people that I love and care about are rejecting God and in the process turning their back on the one thing that I know they are longing for but just have not been able to find in the confines of religion?
It is worth it all. If we truly serve a God that would send his son to die for just one person, that would come and die if I (or you) were the only person on earth, how can we not have the same attitude towards those around us? we work so hard to change three or four friends and get them to accept Christ, and we think about how many people we can influence with our lives, yet what about just trying to live your life for Christ, and in the process working on being that light, and praying that God would bring you one. You can't possibly expect to help this one person anyway. It is God's mission to save the world not yours. God calls us to take his message to the world, sure that it good, do that. But don't expect you to be the one to be able to walk with people and disciple many. Jesus chose twelve. Within those twelve were three close disciples. If this was Jesus style of discipleship should we not model it?
I challenge whoever may read this to work on helping two or three around you. Christian or non-christian, do not neglect the others that need to hear the message of God, but have a particular focus for two or three... see what happens.

Yours Truly,
Nick Poetker

Astonishment!!!!

Matthew 8:10 is one verse that has given me something to think about lately. "When Jesus heard him, he was amazed..." (NRSV). In the NIV it says Jesus was astonished! This may seem like a "yea so?" statement but I think there is something more to it. We as Christians put Jesus on this pedestal and rightfully so... but I know many times that I forget he was fully human. FULLY human. Now this seems like such a trivial thing when we are looking at the life of Jesus but I think it is more mind boggling than first glance. We think that Jesus was perfect, and he was, and I have tended to associate this with thinking he was a conservative, laid back, 'goody two shoes' type person, who did everything right. Now not saying all of this is wrong thinking, but I think that we forget the human form of him. Sure he was perfect and did everything according to his father's (GOD's) plan. Yet, Jesus was astonished. WE forget the emotion and the trivial things that go along with this. It could seem stupid to you, but this is a bigger deal than I think. Jesus walked this earth, he was a real being, even those who don't believe that God is real believe there was a man named Jesus who walked the earth. He had feelings like amazement, anger, sadness, depression?, hurt?, pain, joy, sorrow... I think you get the point. WE think that God understands what we go through, we believe this because he is GOd and he knows all. But I think we should also believe this because he knows what it feels like. He was human he has gone through the emotions and the trials and temptations of our human skin. He understands because he has encountered, and defeated! Not simply because he is God. He needed to eat to replenish his body. He needed to go to the washroom. He cheered on the Calgary Flames despite a 9 game losing streak (ok maybe not quite that far, but maybe). He understands humanity, he empathizes perfectly with humanity because he has felt all these things, he has been FULLY human, and understands ALL that comes with it.
Yes, Jesus came to earth as God in human form, but we also must remember that he was fully human as well and the implications that this means. Once we do I think that it gives us a whole new meaning to who God is. Plus the fact that it is amazing that the God who knows everything came down to earth and was "amazed".

The Parables of Life

We all have a story to tell. We all have a journey that we are on that is molded and changed with each passing day. Hopefully this path is toward God, and we are walking on the "good path". Yet, we all have this story whether good or bad, nice or ugly, exciting or boring. Yes, God works through what we might think is boring.
There is someone at school here, who I will keep anonymous because it is unimportant, that was scared to tell their story. This person did not want to share anything, and did not want to be involved with anyone because they were under the impression that they would only get hurt. Now some of us would think it was ridiculous that someone would not want to share their story but it's actually more amazing to me how many people are comfortable with sharing their story. You think about it you have these intimate interactions with people, and these hurts and joys that you have suffered and celebrated in. This is your life, and we don't even think about it, we just kind of do it. And there is nothing wrong with that... but are we being honest with people.
These stories are not to be taken lightly, one of Jesus main ways of teaching his diciples and those around him was through parables. Stories that had a meaning behind them, that he wanted others to see something in. He wanted these stories to speak to people and help them grow and give illustrations so that the lessons were easily remembered.
So I ask again... are we taking our stories seriously? Sure we tell our story to other people, and that is a good thing. But are we sugar coating it? Are we truly opening up our story to people so that they can see us for who we are and where we have come from? I know that I tend to leave out parts that are hurtful, or I think are embarrassing. The parts I don't want people to know I don't tell. Yet, is it these parts that are the ones that need to get out. Now, I am not saying go to everyone and tell them all your embarrassing things and all the things you are ashamed of, because I don't think that is right either. Yet, I think when we are telling those we care about our story, to sugar-coat is like having the Lord of the Rings books, without Sauron, the ring, or orcs. Yes, you still have the journey of Frodo, but you are missing out on a lot of the story, and probably why Frodo reacts and thinks the way he does near the end of the story.
When we tell our story and leave out the Rings, and Saurons and Orcs of our life, we are still getting the main journey in, but we are not doing God justice. Jesus taught parables, our story is a way of teaching others. We may not directly think we are teaching, but by telling your story you are teaching others about who you are... where god has brought you from, and the power of God in your own life. I think that we owe it to ourselves and to God to share with others (again not with everyone) but with some, the story God has written for us.
This person at school, they did not share their story, but they did share enough to admit that they had not accepted Christ. They admitted that they wanted to accept Christ. And they started a new chapter and accepted Christ. The growth is just starting. And I pray that they will be able to share their story to other, even if it is not me. Because I believe others will be touched by God through it. And others will be touched by God through your story if you are willing to share your own Parable.

Breakthroughs are not easy things.

I have struggles like everyone else. I have weaknesses and parts of my life that I wish would go away. I have parts that I wish were not the way they are… parts I wish were better… and parts that I never want to go away. It is part of the natural cycle of life. We go through these stages that come at us and we go on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. We see the hard times and we become depressed, or we lose hope. These are the times we cry out to God and ask him why the world is the way it is. We start to see all that is wrong in the world and start to ask questions about it.
Then we get to another part in life… The clouds break up, the sun starts to shine through and it looks like it may not be so bad after all. Maybe this is some work of God in your life. Maybe it is something you have been praying about and it has just worked out. Who knows. I don’t even know if enough people read this blog to make it worth it to be honest. But it helps me get my thoughts out there, even if no one is actually reading them and taking them in. Anyway, the clouds break up and we move on, everything is going really good there is possibly a spiritual high going on in our life… we have made a major breakthrough. This is possibly at some sort of retreat or like I said earlier something that you have been praying about has finally worked out after a long period of questioning and wanting.
Then we get those times where everything is kind of just… for lack of a better word, normal. Nothing amazing seems to be happening, but nothing is going really bad either. These are the times it seems we kind of “do everything right” but to the bare minimum. We pray, read our bibles and go to church, but only as much as we maybe “have to” (not that we really “have” to do any of it). But nonetheless everything just kind of happens we go through life one day at a time and just enjoy it.
We all have these basic three stages not to mention the middle stages between all these stages. Yet, these seem to be the three main areas of life where we seem to fit at any given moment. Right now, I would have to say that I am in the first stage mentioned. Like I said I have my struggles like everyone else, life is not easy… it is not always fun… and it does not always make us feel very good. I hate to break this to you if you think that it is all peachy. This is part of the reason why my blogging has slowed down, I am going to try and keep it up and going at least once a month if I can from now on if you are wondering. Anyway like I said there is a lot that goes on in this world and we seem to notice a lot of the bad things that are going on instead of the good things that are happening, and I believe there are just as many, if not more, good things as bad things going on. Yet, we focus on the bad things, in the news, in the media, in our own heads. Everywhere it just seems that if it’s bad, tragic, horrible, disgusting, evil even, we take notice. What about all the good? Why do we not take notice of all that?
Have you ever been watching a movie, or maybe even listening to a song, and just gotten this feeling that it is something good. Maybe it is your favorite Disney movie, or maybe it is an amazing guitar rift or maybe it is the harmony in a song or maybe you are just enjoying nature… anything, but there are those moments where we feel something in the deepest part of us. At the core of us we know something has been stirred by this “magical” feeling and we cannot get enough of it… so we watch the movie again, or we replay the song, hike another mountain. We just want as much of this “magic” as we can get, there is something there that intrigues us, that we know deep down that there is something truly GOOD there. Not lower case good, like you would answer if someone asked you how you are doing, but upper case GOOD, perfect almost, maybe even holy? I know that I have felt this on numerous occasions, and then it ends and leaves me wanting more. This is one of the hardest feelings that I have to experience, because I know that there is something more than just the movie or the lyrics or the harmony there. There is something deep down that resonates with this idea that the prince finds his princess. There is something deep down that resonates with those lyrics. There is something deep down that resonates with the beauty of the sunset, the rain, the stars, a campfire! Something deep inside stirs and I cannot sing the song loud enough, I never tire of watching the end of the movie (maybe the rest, but not the end), I never tire of looking at the stars or watching that sunset. This GOOD feeling seems to give us a glimpse of heaven. Of everything coming back to perfection, of things being the way they should be. It seems almost too good to be true. It is different for everyone too, someone might get this feeling from one song and someone else may hate that song, but there is something out there that gives everyone this feeling. I struggled with that. I struggled with the fact that this feeling could not last, that it would always end, and nomatter what happened I could not make it last. That my life was not that movie where the credits could role and everything just happens to end perfectly. I questioned God, “why do all good things seem to end… why do all good things seem to not last, or not happen at all?”
Then one night as I was praying to God and trying to find out why this was, asking the same question over and over I got this pain in my chest, unlike anything I have ever experience ever! It was the most unbearable pain I have ever felt in my life, I was rolling around clutching my chest and bawling uncontrollably because of the pain in my chest… not a sharp pain, but a constant ache (yes I could still feel both my arms and I did not smell burnt toast). It was so unbearable that I just could not handle it at all, and probably lasted around 5-10 minutes. Then it finally ended, and I was left there lying in my bed breathing hard, trying to make sense of any of this… and this hit me. It may sound crazy but all of the sudden I got this idea that, God had given my a glimpse of the cross. Just a very small sample, not trying to say I know what it felt like for Jesus to be on the cross. But I think God gave me a taste of the pain, not physically but mentally and deep down. This little sample, so unbearable to me and yet just a little taste of what Jesus may have endured on the cross. Right by my heart, where he is supposed to “dwell”. Then I opened my bible, because a friend told me that would be an appropriate thing to do, I was kind of in a different state then and he steered me in the right direction. I ended up turning to this verse in Proverbs 23:26, “My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways,” OK, OK, OK, nuff said… haha I could probably just stop right there and that would be enough. But if you have the same reaction I had its like jaw drop, eyes wide, wow response more than anything. Not in a surprise but in a, I better start listening sort of way. It definitely tuned my heartstrings a little bit, and opened my eyes a little bit to a lot of new ways of looking at things. Honestly I am still working through this tiny little verse. It is not the easiest thing to just say, “Ok God here is my heart, now what?” and if it is easy for you then you are not actually giving him your heart, your heart and your head are two different things, trust me, I know. But it is the start of something incredible, something really GOOD, and I really hope that God will bless you all with something where your jaw can drop and your eyes can be opened wide to God and that you can give God your whole heart as well as your head.

Nick Poetker

What do you want most?

What do you want most in life? This question poses a problem, there are a lot of options and only one option really. Unless you are fooling yourself there is only one thing that you can choose. For many of us we would say, " I want a comfortable life, a family, a steady job, and to settle down and eventually retire and live happily ever after." Some others might say, "I want to 'live life to the fullest" whatever they mean by that, as that alone has so many other meanings than we know. Yet, this question seems to be such a trick question. Very few would answer, "I want God" more than anything else in this whole world, more than a family more than living life to the fullest (which will happen if we have God, as he promises "life to the full") There are very few people who will actually answer this question, "what do you want most in life?" with the response, "God".
When you think about it, it is actually quite a sad thing. Christians and non-christians alike, want something in their life more than they actually want God. We may fool ourselves into thinking that "well yea Nick but besides God (the obvious) I want a family, or life to the fullest, or just to have fun." But I do not think that having God be the one thing, the one person, the one relationship that we want most is such an obvious choice anymore for many of us. We fool ourselves into believing that he is, and yet we live life by our own rules with our own plans, and act like God is a spectator who will jump in a rescue us when we are not having so much fun anymore, and then we can go on our merry own way ignoring the fact that God needs to be, in fact, the centre of our lives.
I know in my own life I have neglected to do so. I have come to the realization that at this present time I do not know what I want. I cannot honestly say that right now I want God above everything else. I wish I could but if I am going to be honest with myself and God I cannot say that. I hope and pray that I can get to the point where the one thing that i want most in this world, and out of this world is God, but I think it will take time. This is not to say I do not believe in God or follow him, yet there is a major difference between being a christian and believing, and making the relationship with God the number one priority over all else. EVERYTHING... Think about that word for a second. EVERYTHING.... EVERYTHING.... EVERYTHING. Out of all that is in this world the 6 billion some odd people, the cool new toys and gadgets, all the material object, and every hope and dream that has ever been conjured up in my tiny little brain. To be able to say that over all of that reigns God, and he is above and beyond all that is truly and utterly amazing. I cannot wait for the day when I can say it, but yes it will take time and a lot of hard work, but I think it will be worth it. Every relationship is a pursuit. There is a pursuit for the perfect relationship, where there is no fights, no quarrels, no misunderstandings. In every relationship we have we want that perfect relationship, but it will never happen. I am hoping I can catch a glimpse, and that you will join me, in getting that perfect relationship with God, and making God the thing, person, that I want most in life.

Nick Poetker

Guilty

So have you ever seen any of those lines or videos or anything where it starts out by stating how much money it would take to stop "poverty" (get clean drinking water or food to eat) and then goes on to try and guilt you by telling you how much North Americans spend on certain things... like christmas or ice cream? Have you ever seen something like this? My guess is you have. I dunno I have thought about it and as much as I am for stopping malnutrition and ending world poverty and all those wonderful things... I think these methods do nothing else but make me angry at them. I can understand that there is a lot of injustice in the world... there are a lot of people without food or clean drinking water every day and but I do not think that gives an excuse to try and make people feel guilty about it. I do not think guilt is the right tactic... now there is a difference between awareness and guilt trips. I think that people need to want to do it otherwise I do not think there is any merit to it. The people that want to do it are going to do it, and try their hardest to stop it... and everyone else is just going to read it feel bad and move on.
The problem is not eating ice cream or christmas, that is not the problem. Now understand I also believe that we do go overboard in North America and maybe should cut back on some things, but still that does not necessarily always mean that people are going to turn around and spend that on clean drinking water wells, or food for people living in these circumastance. I dunno I guess I just have a beef with people showing me facts about people and facts about my life, and trying to show me that somehow if I cut back on eating ice cream that magically that is going to transform into clean drinking water. It's unrealistic. I have no problem with people showing me facts like "eight hundred million people did not eat today"... honestly that should be enough. Unfortunately people don't think it is so they add the amount spent to buy wells and get clean water for everyone, and then compare it and it magically happens to be the same amount people spend on ice cream in a year.
I guess I am saying the people that are going to support these things are going to do it because of the stat that matters. I think it is important that we are aware of the injustice of the world and become aware of how others are living and how we are living... but I think it is going overboard and doing no good by showing these sorts of "comparisons".

Overall I think that there is a lot of work that needs to be done in my life in this area... using my money for things other than myself as well as using what I have and my talents and money and maybe using it for these things like getting clean water for third world countries... etc.